Song of the Day: "Don't Jump" by Tokio Hotel (Kinda weird but good.)
Accessory of Awesome: my knife, stabbed dress
Money raised for the DR: $1,482
Let's get started! Enough with formalities, this is serious business, blogging! I have to get to the point before I start rambling because I tend to ramble quite a bit and I've been told its rather annoying...OK no I haven't Actually I've been told it's adorable. Which is equally disturbing and flattering depending on who it comes from.
So. How have you been? Oh wait. You can't answer. BWAHA!
Life has been both amazing and cruel and completely confusing. I feel great and broken and in control and falling apart-ish. But it's OK! I'm great! I'm doing great!
(Passes out from exhaustion)
OK, so that was an exxageration. (Pardon my spelling, apparently I can't fix that last word. I hope you get my point though.) Life has been great recently. I have my family and my friends and my God.
Me and God? We're tight now. OK, not as tight as we should be. But its getting there!!! And I'm so excited. I feel like life before January was...so different from now. I hope people have noticed a change in me, because I feel SO different. But I was a pretty good liar back then. Still am. I guess if no one noticed I've got a long ways to go.
There's a light inside now. Inside of me. Maybe it's not bright to everyone else yet, but it feels so bright to me. I mean...before hand there was only darkness inside of me. That was it. There was no light. There was no hope. There was confusion and anger and fear and pain and nothing made sense to me. Everything was repetitive and stupid and I hated almost everything at some point.
Now its the complete opposite. There is hope! There is love! There is still pain, anger and confusion. Those things will always be there. But... like I said. There's hope. I have hope because I know now that Christ is standing right here with me, cheering me on.
My AMAZING English teacher used an example in class. And since she always tells me not to plagiarize, I'll put it in quotes. "God is your number one cheerleader. Imagine that! Some people think that God stares at them with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot, and groaning. They think God is saying, 'How could you mess up AGAIN? You suck so much. I can't stand you anymore.' But He's not! He's standing there cheering! He's saying 'Go Chris! Go Gumsan! Go Christina! Go, you can do this! I'm right here with you! It's alright that you fall, just get back up again and keep coming to me. I'm right here at the finish line, waiting for you.'"
I love my English teacher.
But that's what I feel like! I couple blogs ago I told you about that night when I was talking to my friend Graycen. How I was falling apart and I felt alone and in pain and so desperate for a hope. I was alone that day. That was the day I realized how freaking far I had fallen. And now I've at least crawled back to the right path.
Life is an amazing mess of surprises, circumstances and plot lines that are entangled so perfectly that it is IMPOSSIBLE to deny that there is a Creator.
I am so excited for my missions trips coming up. I am going to a rescue mission next week on Monday and Tuesday and I'm pretty psyched about that. This will be my fourth trip to this rescue mission and every time I go, between joking around with friends and cleaning thrift stores, I always learn something new.
I have a huge trip coming up super fast. It'll be a grand total of five weeks away from home for me and that is a huge thing!! I mean, I'm only just sixteen. The longest I've been away from home was nine days in Canada last year. (Has it really been that long? I MISS MY CANADIAN FRIENDS!!!)
But this trip costs a buttload of money. (Pardon my language...gaaasp!) And most of you who read this have already contributed to it. But if some of you haven't, here's the link.
DONATE
If you don't feel led to give, then don't! I'm not begging you for your money. God will provide a way. I know He will. But if you don't donate, please pray for me on this trip. I know that it'll be amazing.
I guess that's all I wanna talk about today. Thanks for reading.
Until my flip cam stops being demon possessed,
Christina
