Song of the Day: "If You Ever Come Back" by the Script
Accessory of Awesome: these bags under my eyes that look more like bruises...
New Word: Notarized
Wow. The last time I wrote here was easily a month ago. I have a lot to catch you up on.
If you recall the last post I mentioned "nine more days" near the beginning. That was a count down to the time Vito was supposed to be here. To skip all the depressing bits, about six months has been added onto that date.
Don't start thinking it was his fault! Because it wasn't. He got caught in a sticky situation up there and couldn't make it. The two week date after that when I asked if he could try to make it was a hope soon demolished as well when he got into a car accident. So we're back where we started. Six months away from the next time we can see each other face to face. It'll have been a full year by the next time I see him.
If this time without him has been anything, it's been painful. But it's been worth it, let me tell you. I wouldn't trade all this for the world. (Although, I wouldn't trade most anything for the world. I don't want to actually own the world, I think that would be too much trouble.) But hey! Don't think I'm depressed about it. I'm managing. We'll get to each other eventually. It's a small world after all.
Wow I'm using very stupid quotes and metaphors at the moment. Sorry guys. I spent the night with Abby and we stayed up reading "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green. Let me tell you: BEST BOOK IN THE FREAKIN WORLD!!!
I read it in five hours. It was beautiful. A work of art. I almost cried. The only reason I didn't cry was because Abby was asleep and I didn't want her to wake up. Oh goodness.... I can't say anything else or I'll give everything away and that would be very un-nerdfighter-y of me. So I'll just tell you to read it. You won't regret it.
Some books you regret reading. Like books that stop mid sentence.
Ha ha... that's a joke... But you would only understand if you read "The Fault in Our Stars" so READ IT!
OK so that was the disappointment segment of my blog. Let's move on to commitment.
No, this doesn't mean I'm getting married. It means I made a commitment. And not a stupid New Year's resolution. I think those are so over rated. I made a commitment on New Year's Eve to God. I got saved. Pretty legit huh? Yeah, I've got to say I'm excited about it.
I struggled with doubts for a long time. I struggled to find out who I was and why I was so scared and what made me the way I am. I wondered if God was even real or if some other religion like Buddhism or Islam was real. They even became to look appealing, other religions. Living in sin became my addiction. I didn't start drinking or smoking or anything. I reveled in my sinfulness though. I didn't want to let it go. And the only term that comes close to what I was feeling was "addiction."
But on New Year's Eve I realized that the reason I was so scared was because I never actually asked God to save me. I didn't ask Him for myself. I asked Him because I knew I should. I asked Him because my parents wanted me to. I didn't ask Him because I needed him.
But on New Year's Eve I did. I had been thinking that getting saved would make me more overwhelmed and scared. But it didn't.
That's not to say that the following few weeks were good. They were actually the worst weeks I've ever endured. (I might have worse later...but I hope not...) But there was aways the thought inside telling me it would all be alright. God has this in His hands. He's got it under control.
Which actually brings me to my last point pretty beautifully. I'm a great writer when I'm tired.
The Dominican Republic! This summer I'll be going on a missions trip. It includes a week of camp at Word of Life Island (whoop whoop), then a week of training on the Word of Life campus, and then three weeks in the Dominican Republic.
Five weeks. Five long weeks with people I don't really know that well? I'm freaking excited about this.
Let me tell you though, I am nervous about going with people I don't know very well. But I don't WANT people who I know well going with me. If I go on this trip with people I know really well, I know that it will become more about me hanging out with my friends then about serving God. So I WANT to do this on my own. And I think God wants that too.
That's just my idea. Personally.
Oh goodness though. It involves raising a butt load of money. I'm slightly panicked, but I know God has it in control. He always does.
So that finishes up my title. I have to do my homework and get ready for Davey to pick me up for Bible study tonight. If you were somehow offended by today's post, well...sorry? Don't know how it could offend anyone.
Mr. John Green, if you ever read this, sorry for talking about your book. Although, I did give you props for it, so it's like free advertising!
Vito, if you ever read this, yes I do talk about you a lot don't I? No, I won't stop doing it. You're just too interesting. Talk to you soon.
Davey, I talked about you too. Free advertising for bible study? Win. :)
Abby... lets start a nerd fighter club.
OK, I am now done. I hope you all feel thoroughly involved in my life now. Talk to you soon.
Until God stops having control(which is um...NEVER),
Christina
